Well, how to explain this….. I was born with my abilities. It seems they were passed down from my maternal grandfather. My mother and most of her siblings had this gift as well and the funniest thing was, that my uncle who was spot on almost 99% of the time always said “I don’t believe in any of this ‘crap’.” OK lol
I was born in the 1950s and it was not the most “open and accepting” of times toward those who were different in any way. My Mom would always put her finger to her lips when talking about things like having dreamed something that happened, having flashbacks of other times and/or lives, just “knowing” things, seeing spirits, hearing voices, having deja vu, etc. There was not a lot of talk about this “gift” however, I noticed more and more that when Mom said “I have this feeling….” it came to pass. I also noticed growing up the same was happening with one of my two older brothers. My middle brother was very much like Mom and I but my oldest brother didn’t have a clue. He was just like a brick. Nothing happening there.
I used to look at a person and immediately see their aura and start to pick up things about them. Hearing spirit’s voice and guidance was as natural as hearing a friend’s voice. It all flowed quite freely and naturally when I was a child and I must say I am most grateful for all the wonderful guidance, help and blessings I was given. Then, as I grew older and interacted with others a few of my friends cautioned that I shouldn’t admit these things for fear of the adults thinking I was looney and then the men with white jackets would come and take me away from my family! Eeeeek!!! Oh no, I’m a freak, a whacko, a weirdo who’s not right in the head! Oh, dear, no wonder Mom never wants to talk about these things. So I shut everything down. I went through my teens and 20s like a television that had been turned off.
At about the time of my father’s passing I met a tarot reader. I had gone to him when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. You see, Dad had a large tumor removed from his intestine and after his surgery I was on the phone with his doctor who said “We think we got it all…” and at the same time, in my right ear (where all my spirit messages are delivered) I heard “no they didn’t”. I set out to find a tarot reader and a friend recommended one to me who has now been my very beloved friend for over 33 years, Joe. It was Joe that introduced me to all things metaphysical and spiritual. I used to go to seances with Joe and afterward I would tell him how I was getting migraines from these events. He went on to ask if there were things that I was seeing, feeling or hearing that I withholding and not telling people about. I answered “Of course, they would think I was nuts because it made no sense to me”. He advised that even though it made no sense to me, the person I was supposed to deliver the message to, may very well know what I was talking about and it would make sense to them and even if not at that time, but further into their lives it would. Well, from that time on, I made sure to deliver ALL messages. lol Voila, no more headaches.
Upon becoming a reiki practitioner, my intuition increased and some times it would be that during a reiki session I would get a message to pass along. Knowing that psychics were not so well received and accepted I would reference the show “Ghost Whisperer” (Thank God/dess for that show’s popularity!) I’d say “You see I have this gift and I need to tell you….” Most people were very accepting and even grateful. I would only read tarot for friends or do readings for people I knew. I always called myself a “closet psychic” because it was only during those times I would step out of the closet to read. Most of the time I stayed in there due to fear, lack of confidence, etc. The only other time I came out was if someone was desperate for a reader because someone had canceled at the last minute.
I was very comfortable in the healing arena because my paternal grandfather was a natural born healer who had tons of people bringing him their infant and toddler children when they got sick because my grandfather had a reputation for healing them. He used to hold the child in one arm, pass his hand atop and over their body while praying and they would be cured. It was in my Level II Reiki Class that it occurred to me that this was what I was born to do; help people heal. It just felt so right.
As the years passed I became more involved at doing readings. Again, when my husband up and left I started doing readings out of a need for income. Still shy at doing them, I’d go in and out of the closet. lol I was amazed when a fellow psychic friend of mine announced that he was lucky enough to grow up where his entire family embraced this type of ability and he grew up being able to express, expose and use and work with his abilities. They were never shut off, hampered or shunned. Wow, he was so lucky, or one would think; sadly he lost his Mom and two brothers early on in life. However, on a happy note he is a very gifted, wonderful psychic/medium who is highly acclaimed and loved by all.
The moral of this story is that I am finally comfortable in my own skin, confident in my abilities and happy to share them with the world for I truly feel my calling here is to help as many as I can in the time I am given here on this planet.